Birthday Musings – Almost Halfway Through my Forties

Antipasto Entreé I made for my Birthday Dinner
Antipasti appetizer I made for my birthday dinner


Waiting for my birthday cake
Waiting for my birthday cake


I like birthdays.  I look forward to celebrating my friends’ birthdays, my kids’ birthdays, my extended family’s birthdays.  Even when I was a kid, I would get slightly disappointed when things did not go as planned for my birthday celebrations.  Since I’ve become a mother, I have not really been focusing on my own birthdays.  I go through all the trouble in the world planning and orchestrating my kids’ birthday parties; however, when it comes to my own, I feel like I am just devoid of energy, enthusiasm or ideas. Even my fortieth birthday, a major milestone, was a NON-event.

I am not sure if I can ever mimic the same enthusiasm that I had for my birthdays when I was younger. This weekend, for instance, I celebrated my birthday with a simple dinner with family. That was good enough for me.

Since I have turned 40, I feel slightly different with each passing year.  I feel somewhat freer, less encumbered, closer to my true self now that I am near my mid-forties. It is true that there is now less baggage from my twenties and early thirties and I am also getting out of the fog of early motherhood when life was consumed by my kids 24-7. Perhaps the key to being true to myself is to not care so much about what other people think and just do things that make me happy.  It is through this attitude that I feel closer to self-actualization.  Who cares about the rules of conformity and “playing it safe” when these things can stifle you?  So with every passing year, I vow to push out all those somewhat “self-imposed” voices in my head and be true to who I am.  At the same time, I plan to take myself slightly out of my comfort zone for I know that a tiny bit of tension yields to just better performance, awareness and vitality in my life.


  1. I love the blog. There’s a peacefulness I feel looking at your photos and reading your stories. It’s a feeling that’s replenishing to the soul at this stage in our lives with the day to day demands of raising children. You transported me to another place for a few moments and it was wonderful. My favorite photos are the ones bursting with color: your birthday cake, the brunch at your sister’s house, and inside Congress Hall. Well done!! And Happy Birthday! It’s your birthday, but I feel like you gave me the gift.

    • That is such a touching comment. THANK YOU so much for visiting my blog. I am glad that you have enjoyed reading my entries.

  2. Amen!! I have very similar feelings about life right now. I still have luggage that needs to lighten up but I really stopped caring what others think. Maybe not totally but definitely not as much as I did.
    Happy Birthday!!

    • Thanks,Imene! There is something about not caring about what others think that liberates the mind and the soul.

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